I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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