Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
