I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
