do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
