I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
