did you get engaged???
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
