this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
