there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
