someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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