They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
