i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
