I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
