I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I want to walk on stilts...naked
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
