I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
