Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
