Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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