As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
