I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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