next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
it glows. i had to have it.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
