That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
