Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
