im drinking this country out of the recession.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize