and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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