Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
