I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Randomize
