my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she told me i tasted like america
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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