I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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