And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
