why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How does it feel to date your dad?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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