Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
