I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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