so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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