I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
