Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
