Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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