What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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