what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We're too hungover to prance.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
