I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
