these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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