if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
