Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

This guy has a retainer. We're golden.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario

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(513): View more from Ohio

I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.

(937): View more from Ohio

Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!

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(713): View more from Texas

she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?

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(678): View more from Georgia

Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?

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(520): View more from Arizona

Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."

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(406): View more from Montana

Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE

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