The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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