that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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