I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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