She's JV to your varsity
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
