Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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