i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
