Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
