I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
