marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
