I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
is that a dick in a sweater?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
