I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
