Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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