I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is her dick bigger than yours?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
