I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
