I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he fucked my hip out of place.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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