He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
