I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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